Hey all! So here’s the first post!! It’s crazy long but I like it and hope you do too!!
For those who are new to this circus, go to this post, it’ll explain all and you will be all-knowing and all-powerful. My long time followers can back you up on this, that my posts have super powers hidden inside them, right guys??
My teeth trap my bottom lip under them, pushing down hard as I think. My mom’s voice echoes in my head, something about how my lips are ruined because of me biting them. Well she’s still right. Even though I haven’t seen her in years, she continues to be right. Probably a special mom skill or something, to always be right. But I still don’t listen to her, she left me so long ago that it doesn’t even matter what she said or didn’t say. I shouldn’t even remember this stuff anymore.
I try to think of a way to work this out. To fix everything. But I really can’t I screwed it up, I made this mess, I have to clean it up. I remove my teeth from my lip and close my mouth. I can’t be nervous. I just have to go. Just have to do it. Get the job done, fix everything, then get out of here.
Here is a room filled with flashing neon signs that practically blind you as walk by. Here is a place where music is always playing too loud. Here is where the walls are covered by vintage vinyls aching to be played. They probably never will be though, they’ll just sit there collecting dust until the place closes down.
Here is my happy place. Also where Phoenix goes when he’s mad at me. He goes here because he thinks that if I’m in my happy spot, I’ll forgive him a lot faster. I don’t even know, he’s a nerd. I think I’ll find him here this time. Well hopefully. He wasn’t home and he wasn’t at work and I’m running out of ideas.
“Hey!” Someone yells loudly. I blink, how do they have a voice loud enough to be heard over the music? I turn slowly, they’re probably not even yelling at me. But I still wanna see who it is. Of course, they are yelling at me. And of course, I don’t know them. At least, I don’t think so… I don’t really pay attention to the people I talk to here, they never stay long. I ignore and walk faster, searching for Phoenix.
I look for his fluffy hair. His black leather jacket that he was wearing this morning. His red converse that are falling apart. I look for the way he stands, hands in his pockets. I look for his eyes, always searching, always trying to find whatever is hidden. I look for every little bit of him. It takes me a few minutes to find him though. He’s in the corner, blocked by people. I find him by his eyes first, small pieces of an amber tree trapped in his irises.
I wave. His gaze passes over me and the corner of his lip twitches. I almost laugh, he tries so hard to ignore me but he can’t help himself. I take that as my invitation to walk over to him. I bite my lip and again and raise a brow.
“So, why are you here? You hate it here,” I ask, pulling at the top layer of skin on my lip. He takes a while to answer, shifting in his seat.
“Maybe it’s growing on me,” He shrugs lazily, his shoulders rolling in a way that makes me miss him more. “Or maybe I really don’t want to hear your lame apologies, so I came to a place with loud music.”
He shrugged again. I was getting tired of his shrugs.
“I’m really sorry,” I say, my voice is soft, my eyes desperate.
“See,” He raises his hands and rolls his eyes. “I can’t hear you, music is too loud. But I can tell you’re apologizing because I’ve seen you do it so so many times. That’s the thing, you’re always apologizing.”
“Phoenix…”He so mad. And he should be. I treated him like crap. He shakes his head. He doesn’t want to talk. He’s not going to talk. I cross my arms and sit down next to him. Well. If he’s not going to talk, I won’t either. Just wait for him to be ready for me to apologize. Because I am sorry, and I’m trying to make it right. And I’m willing to wait to do so.
It’s been an hour. We still haven’t moved.
Okay hour and a half, people are starting to leave, the music is getting quieter.
Two hours. Wow he is insanely mad. The music is really quiet. So is he. And my butt is asleep.
Two and a half hours later and he finally makes his move. He sits up, adjusts his jacket, and starts walking out of the place. I follow quickly. Not saying anything. He walks fast, he’s trying to beat me to his car. Is he really thinking about ditching me here?
He better not be. I start running. He runs after me. I burst out the doors and search for the car. Old beat up ugly thing, just like his shoes. It takes a few seconds to find and then I’m running again. It’s dark out now, the sun long gone. Which isn’t surprising since we were in there forever. I’m at a full-out sprint and he’s close behind. My heart is beating faster and a smile stretching onto my face. This is so stupid, we’re children. We don’t talk to each other when we get mad and race to get to the car because somehow it’ll make us better. I look back and see him smiling too. A giggle escapes my lips.
We get to the car, chests heaving and teeth exposed.
“I suck at this staying mad thing,” He whispers, “I was just sitting there for two hours just so I could look at you longer…”
I feel my eyes get wet, stupid eyes. My mouth grins wider and I laugh weakly, wiping my eyes.
“I wanted to apologize the second you were mad.” I say between breaths, “I was just trying to find you. I went everywhere.”
“Everywhere?” He raises a brow and pulls me close, I can feel his heart now. It’s racing as fast as mine.
“I went to your grandma’s house,” I laugh again and he shakes his head. I rest my head against his chest, I fit right under his chin. He rests his head on my hair.
After a few minutes I look up. He looks down.
“I’m so so so so sorry,” I whisper.
“It’s fine.” He whispers back.
“It’s not though. I didn’t mean for it be out of control,” I say, my eyes wide and desperate. I feel awful.
“It doesn’t matter,” He says with a small smile.
He cuts me off by kissing me. His lips meet mine and I can’t say another word. My heart, which had just calmed down, is now beating so fast I think it’ll break. His lips taste like raspberries and I decide it’s my favorite taste. Because it’s like him, sweet and soft.
Thanks for reading!! Have a collage and leave a comment below!! I’d really appreciate it.