This Heart

My heart is a little tender

Becuase it’s been touched too many times

My heart is a little stretched

Too many feelings at one time

My heart is a little broken

Just a few cracks going down the middle

From when I thought I was losing you

But my heart is still here

And you can take it,

If you want a tender, stretched, cracked heart.

I really hope you do.

Journals and Stationery, Whispers, Feeling Sleepy, Browsing Wikipedia for 2 Hours, Streets in Foreign Cities, Sculptures

Yay!! Second post!! I like this one and I think you will too! Hopefully, otherwise #awkward. Please enjoy!

For people who are new to my organized chaos, click here.

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Also, have an aesthetic.

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“Okay, so,” I take a deep breath. Roan watches me carefully, his long lashes blinking and a small smile of his plump lips. “We have to get either cards or journals from each country we visit.”

“We’re not visiting very many,” He says, his words are slow and soft. I hang on every word and can’t stop looking at his face. A website glares from my computer screen and light part of my face in an eerie way. I’ve been doing research for the past two hours, Roan watching me. My eyes are watery and red from staring at the screen for too long. But I want this trip to be perfect. The room is dark, it’s three in the morning. We leave at four to go to the air port. Roan and I will be visiting Europe for two weeks. I can hardly breathe, I’m so excited. “Only like five.”

“New plan,” I say suddenly and with a smile. “We get two journals and two different sets of stationery from each country.”

“Sounds perfect,” He yawns, “As long as you’re there, I’m happy.”

“Yea, that line is getting old, you could at least have an opinion on something,” I sigh, “Like, I know you love me but… You didn’t even care what continent we going too.”

He lays down on my bed and stretches out, a lazy smirk sprawled on his lips. He shrugs delicately.

“I’m going to take a nap until we have to go,” He blows a kiss and rolls over. I ditch my glasses on the table and I lay next to him, my arms pressed against his back. He’s warm and I can feel his muscles  contract as he breathes deeply. My eyelids are heavy and I let them fall. My mind wanders and I feel so happy in that moment.

Roan is right, it really doesn’t matter where we are.

***

My alarm clock blares and we get out of bed. My eyes and mouth are filled with sleep and everything is hazy. I let out a sigh and grab my glasses. Everything clears and I suddenly realize where we’re going. I grin.

“Legend?” Roan smiles again. He’s always smiling.

“Mhm?” I think for once, I’m smiling larger than him.

“You’re really adorable.” He murmurs. Then grabs his bags and walks out of my room.

“You too!” I call after him. I grab my bags and meet him out by the taxi we called. We get in and I’m bouncing from excitement.

“Calm down, by the time we get there, you’ll be out of energy and need another nap.” He rolls his eyes and kisses the top of my head. My scalp tingles where his lips brushed my hair.

“I’ll sleep on the plane,” I kiss his cheek, he licks his lips and leans back against the seat.

“This is going to be quite the trip now isn’t it?” He sighs.

“Definitely, but you won’t care because…” I wait for in to fill in the blanks.

“Because I have my little Legend,” He shakes his head and starts to double-check the paper work and passports.

“I’m not a little Legend, I’m a fricking big one,” I say, “Don’t forget that my little Roan.”

“Mmk, I won’t.” He says, pretending to not pay attention. I play with my hair and watch the world go by.

***

When we get to the airport, everything is insane. People everywhere, planes everywhere, food everywhere. I’ve never flown before and everything is surprising and new and… absolutely perfect. I’m still bouncing and Roan is a little more excited too.

He’s hard to read. Took me forever but I can finally tell when he’s excited. His smirk is stretched in the slightest and his fingers tap on anything and everything. Right now it’s my palm as he holds my hand. I lean into his shoulder, he’s solid and warm. Are airports always this cold?

***

The plane ride is terrifying. I hate it so much. I spend the whole time with my eyes squeezed shut because one glance out the window and I feel like I need to puke. Landing squeezing a lot of squeaks and squeals out of me and Roan lets me hide in the crook of his arm.

***
We get there. And we drive to our hotel. And I can barely believe it. We had been planning this trip forever. For two years we had been trying to come to this place. Now, we’re finally here.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, Roan, I can’t breathe, oh my gosh.” I’m bouncing again.

“This is pretty cool, it’s worth not breathing over,” He murmurs, his head tilted so he coud look at everything.

“I can’t believe this, we’re finally here,” I squeal, this time from excitement.

“Let’s check in first,” He says, pulling my arm in the direction of the hotel. “So we can ditch our stuff?”

“Yea, yea okay.” I nod vigorously.

I get stuck on the steps.

“Woah…” There are statues on our hotel steps and I can’t believe how pretty they are. “Let’s take a picture.”

“They’ll be there in five minutes, let’s put this away and this we can take a picture,” He says, ever patient. I blink, then nod. This trip will be perfect, as long as he comes with.

Neon Signs, Biting your Lip, Adrenalin, Later Night Talks, Vintage Vinyls, Raspberries

Hey all! So here’s the first post!! It’s crazy long but I like it and hope you do too!!

For those who are new to this circus, go to this post, it’ll explain all and you will be all-knowing and all-powerful. My long time followers can back you up on this, that my posts have super powers hidden inside them, right guys??

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My teeth trap my bottom lip under them, pushing down hard as I think. My mom’s voice echoes in my head, something about how my lips are ruined because of me biting them. Well she’s still right. Even though I haven’t seen her in years, she continues to be right. Probably a special mom skill or something, to always be right. But I still don’t listen to her, she left me so long ago that it doesn’t even matter what she said or didn’t say. I shouldn’t even remember this stuff anymore. 

I try to think of a way to work this out. To fix everything. But I really can’t I screwed it up, I made this mess, I have to clean it up. I remove my teeth from my lip and close my mouth. I can’t be nervous. I just have to go. Just have to do it. Get the job done, fix everything, then get out of here. 

Here is a room filled with flashing neon signs that practically blind you as walk by. Here is a place where music is always playing too loud. Here is where the walls are covered by vintage vinyls aching to be played. They probably never will be though, they’ll just sit there collecting dust until the place closes down. 

Here is my happy place. Also where Phoenix goes when he’s mad at me. He goes here because he thinks that if I’m in my happy spot, I’ll forgive him a lot faster. I don’t even know, he’s a nerd. I think I’ll find him here this time. Well hopefully. He wasn’t home and he wasn’t at work and I’m running out of ideas. 

“Hey!” Someone yells loudly. I blink, how do they have a voice loud enough to be heard over the music? I turn slowly, they’re probably not even yelling at me. But I still wanna see who it is. Of course, they are yelling at me. And of course, I don’t know them. At least, I don’t think so… I don’t really pay attention to the people I talk to here, they never stay long. I ignore and walk faster, searching for Phoenix. 

I look for his fluffy hair. His black leather jacket that he was wearing this morning. His red converse that are falling apart. I look for the way he stands, hands in his pockets. I look for his eyes, always searching, always trying to find whatever is hidden. I look for every little bit of him. It takes me a few minutes to find him though. He’s in the corner, blocked by people. I find him by his eyes first, small pieces of an amber tree trapped in his irises. 

I wave. His gaze passes over me and the corner of his lip twitches. I almost laugh, he tries so hard to ignore me but he can’t help himself. I take that as my invitation to walk over to him. I bite my lip and again and raise a brow. 

“So, why are you here? You hate it here,” I ask, pulling at the top layer of skin on my lip. He takes a while to answer, shifting in his seat. 

“Maybe it’s growing on me,” He shrugs lazily, his shoulders rolling in a way that makes me miss him more. “Or maybe I really don’t want to hear your lame apologies, so I came to a place with loud music.” 

He shrugged again. I was getting tired of his shrugs. 

“I’m really sorry,” I say, my voice is soft, my eyes desperate. 

“See,” He raises his hands and rolls his eyes. “I can’t hear you, music is too loud. But I can tell you’re apologizing because I’ve seen you do it so so many times. That’s the thing, you’re always apologizing.”

“Phoenix…”He so mad. And he should be. I treated him like crap. He shakes his head. He doesn’t want to talk. He’s not going to talk. I cross my arms and sit down next to him. Well. If he’s not going to talk, I won’t either. Just wait for him to be ready for me to apologize. Because I am sorry, and I’m trying to make it right. And I’m willing to wait to do so. 

***

It’s been an hour. We still haven’t moved. 

***

Okay hour and a half, people are starting to leave, the music is getting quieter. 

***

Two hours. Wow he is insanely mad. The music is really quiet. So is he. And my butt is asleep. 

***

Two and a half hours later and he finally makes his move. He sits up, adjusts his jacket, and starts walking out of the place. I follow quickly. Not saying anything. He walks fast, he’s trying to beat me to his car. Is he really thinking about ditching me here?

He better not be. I start running. He runs after me. I burst out the doors and search for the car. Old beat up ugly thing, just like his shoes. It takes a few seconds to find and then I’m running again. It’s dark out now, the sun long gone. Which isn’t surprising since we were in there forever. I’m at a full-out sprint and he’s close behind. My heart is beating faster and a smile stretching onto my face. This is so stupid, we’re children. We don’t talk to each other when we get mad and race to get to the car because somehow it’ll make us better. I look back and see him smiling too. A giggle escapes my lips.

We get to the car, chests heaving and teeth exposed. 

“I suck at this staying mad thing,” He whispers, “I was just sitting there for two hours just so I could look at you longer…”

I feel my eyes get wet, stupid eyes. My mouth grins wider and I laugh weakly, wiping my eyes. 

“I wanted to apologize the second you were mad.” I say between breaths, “I was just trying to find you. I went everywhere.”

“Everywhere?” He raises a brow and pulls me close, I can feel his heart now. It’s racing as fast as mine. 

“I went to your grandma’s house,” I laugh again and he shakes his head. I rest my head against his chest, I fit right under his chin. He rests his head on my hair. 

After a few minutes I look up. He looks down. 

“I’m so so so so sorry,” I whisper. 

“It’s fine.” He whispers back. 

“It’s not though. I didn’t mean for it be out of control,” I say, my eyes wide and desperate. I feel awful. 

“It doesn’t matter,” He says with a small smile. 

“But-“

He cuts me off by kissing me. His lips meet mine and I can’t say another word. My heart, which had just calmed down, is now beating so fast I think it’ll break. His lips taste like raspberries and I decide it’s my favorite taste. Because it’s like him, sweet and soft. 

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Thanks for reading!! Have a collage and leave a comment below!! I’d really appreciate it.  

New world

I travel to a place I’ve never been

 

I suddenly feel like I’m preforming to all those people that I’ve never met

 

And I’ve never acted quite this way before

 

Because this is a new place, with new people,

 

Pretty much a new world.

My Upcoming Posts!

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Hello! I’m back, sorry for disappearing. But I am here and I have ideas!! Ideas starting with that picture above. Look at it, study it, worship it! No please don’t worship it, but do read it and uh… read what I write below because… you decided to read this post already sooooo might as well… Right?

Kay lesgo.

What I’m gonna do is gonna blow your mind, so make sure that your life insurance covers it. I’m basically doing the same thing for the next four posts as I have been doing. But instead of doing three words/phrases I will be doing more. I’ll take one of my characters that fits into the category and write a story using all those words.

Fun!

Hopefully…

I dunno, you guys should like it. (If not, lie to me, my feelings are tender little beans.)

I will see you tomorrow with post number one and I hope you have a great night!!

Lies that are needed

The end of a moive

The theater dark

Tears bubbling from my eyes

Falling over my cheeks

Tumbling until they hit the red chairs

You turning to me

Eyes wide

Confused

We weren’t watching a sad movie,

Were we?

No, no

Something else, I murmur, the movie was nice

What, you ask, what’s wrong

I lie

I use another one of my problems to calm your worries

A small problem

You probably think I’m stupid,

You’ve been through so much worse.

But the real reason I’m crying,

Is something I could never tell you.

It’s the fact

That you will go home

to where you live,

So far away

And you will have a friend

Who will get to love you as much as I

And you will make her feel whole

Make her feel wanted.

And I will be here,

Holding onto to the happy memories you gave me.

While you still could.